


Memory's Loss

by dairesfanficrefuge_archivist



Category: Pensacola: Wings of Gold
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-01-19
Updated: 2000-01-19
Packaged: 2018-12-18 06:19:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11868429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dairesfanficrefuge_archivist/pseuds/dairesfanficrefuge_archivist
Summary: Note from Daire, the archivist: this story was originally archived atDaire's Fanfic Refuge. Deciding to give the stories a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onDaire's Fanfic Refuge's collection profile.





	Memory's Loss

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Daire, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Daire's Fanfic Refuge](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Daire%27s_Fanfic_Refuge). Deciding to give the stories a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Daire's Fanfic Refuge's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/dairesfanficrefuge/profile).

Memory's Loss by Karen K.

_Memory's Loss_

By Karen K. 

  
A _Pensacola Wings of Gold_ fanfic with the Season 1 cast

* * *

Lieutenant Bobby Griffin paced as Lieutenant Wendell McCray and Lieutenant Annaliese Lindstrom exchanged amused glances. "There's nothing to worry about Bobby," consoled McCray. 

"A.J. isn't back yet, Kelly calls us together, and you say there's nothing to worry about?!" Griffin sounded a little panicked. Kelly strode into the room and the young Lieutenants could tell instantly that something was wrong. "Colonel?" asked Griffin quietly. 

"As of 0700 hours this morning, I received word that Lieutenant Andrew Conaway was killed...." Lindstrom gasped and paled. "There was an accident when some of the explosives went off early and Conaway was killed with three others," Kelly's voice cracked slightly. Griffin reached blindly behind him for a chair and sat down heavily into it. No one said anything for a moment. 

"Excuse me," Lindstrom whispered as she rushed out of the room. 

"Sir, maybe they were wrong, maybe...." McCray stopped unable to continue. 

"I'm sorry, but it was a positive I.D." Kelly placed a consoling hand on McCray's shoulder. Griffin sat stunned unable to believe or accept what he was hearing. Kelly turned and left to see about writing a letter to Conaway's parents. Griffin began to pace and suddenly he stopped and looked at the wall for a moment. Then without a warning he slammed his fist into the wall. 

"Bobby!" yelled McCray and raced over to see if Griffin had injured himself. 

Griffin shrugged him off. "It's all my fault! If I hadn't...." he trailed off. 

"It was an accident Bobby," replied McCray. 

"I did it! Don't you understand? If it hadn't been for me, A.J. would still be alive now! I murdered him!" Griffin raced out of the room. McCray tried to follow him but couldn't find him anywhere. 

McCray, however, was able to find Lindstrom who sat behind the building in the grass with tears rolling down her cheeks. She was angrily pulling tuffs of grass out of the ground and mumbling. McCray could just make out what she was saying, she was angrily cursing A.J. for dying. McCray knew she didn't mean it, but her pain was too great to deal with so it was easier to be angry. "It'll be okay Anni," McCray said as he sat down next to her. She grabbed him and clung to McCray in a hold so tight he felt the breath squeezed out of him but said nothing. He just stroked her hair and murmured soothingly as she was racked by sobs. "That's a good girl, just let it all out," he told her. He wondered where Bobby could've gone and he could only hope that he wouldn't do anymore damage to himself before McCray could find him. 

After Lindstrom had finished crying and embarrassed had wiped her face with the back of her hands. McCray walked her back to her quarters. "Thanks, Wendell, for everything," she said quietly. 

He kissed her on the forehead. "That's what friends are for Lindstrom. Now go get cleaned up and eat something, it'll help, trust me." McCray waited until she closed the door and then went in search of Bobby. He found him jogging on one of the back roads that made up the base. He was still in uniform as if he had run from McCray and never bothered to stop and change clothes. "Bobby!" McCray called and jogged after him, but Griffin didn't seem to hear him. "Bobby stop!" McCray ordered as he grabbed Griffin's arm. Griffin stopped but then he took a swing at Wendell, which he barely managed to avoid. 

"Bobby, stop it!" he yelled as he struggled with Griffin. Griffin stopped struggling and then angrily yanked himself out of McCray's grasp. "This isn't the way to remember him, Bobby." McCray pleaded. 

"What would you know about grieving for a friend?!" he asked McCray angrily. 

"A.J. was my friend too!" Wendell answered, a little of the anger he felt crept into his voice. 

"You wouldn't know it to look at you! You don't seem affected by the fact that there probably is very little left of a good friend who gave his all for us," Bobby answered snidely. 

"I won't be the target for your grief's rage, Griffin!" Wendell snarled at him. Bobby stepped back at the rage he saw in McCray's eyes. "Just because I don't cry like Lindstrom or punch walls like some people I know, it doesn't mean that I didn't love A.J. and that I'm not feeling a deep aching hole in me where he used to be! It won't do you or anybody else any good to crawl into his grave with him Bobby!" McCray answered as he tried to regain control of himself. 

"You're not the one who sent him to his death. It should've been me instead of A.J." Griffin said quietly. 

"You said that earlier, just exactly what did you mean by that?" McCray asked. 

"A.J. didn't want to go on the trip to Serenity. I pushed him to go because I thought it was good for him and so I made the trip irresistible to him. I conned A.J. into going on the trip that got him killed because I thought that I knew what was best for him. Obviously, I didn't, and he did because if it hadn't been for me he'd still be alive today," Griffin said, the pain evident in his voice. 

"Bobby, A.J. never listened to anything you told him before, what makes you think he listened to you now?" 

They laughed. "A.J. was one of the few guys other then you and Lindstrom that I could trust everything to, including my life, and now he's gone and I feel so empty," replied Bobby. 

"I know what you mean Bobby, I have the same hole in me and I have no intentions of letting you put another hole right next to it because you can't deal with the grief." Griffin looked embarrassed by McCray's admitting that he cared for Griffin that much. "Listen, Chaser, who picked you up off the floor after the last time you took a swing at me and hit Conaway instead? Why do you think he let it slide? Because we both know what a big idiot you are and so we make allowances for our dumb little brother." 

Griffin laughed out loud. "Dumb, huh? I'll show you who's the dumb one," he said with a challenge in his voice. 

Just then Lindstrom ran up to Griffin and McCray. "Hey, guys, the Colonel wants us in his office ASAP." The three young marines headed over to Colonel Kelly's office and entered just as Colonel Kelly was exchanging his goodbyes with a man in a three-piece suit. He motioned them in and let them sit before he sat at his own desk. 

"The gentleman that just left was from the Department of Defense. He was here to tell me that from the prelim investigation they'd done, it looks like Conaway's accident wasn't an accident, but sabotage." Kelly assessed the reactions of the three marines. 

"Sir, are you saying that someone murdered A.J.?" asked a stunned Lindstrom. 

"It appears to be that way," he answered. 

"But why?" asked Griffin. 

"I'm not sure other than that they were testing a new explosive and maybe someone wanted to steal it. I did however get him to agree to allow us to be part of the investigation, so go pack because there is a ride waiting for us." The three marines quickly left the office and headed to their separate quarters to pack. 

* * *

Pain shot up his arm as he tried to pull himself up. He felt blood trickling down the side of his face and felt aches all over his body. He tried to pull himself into a sitting position and then he tried to reach his feet. He screamed as agony shot up his leg, he hadn't realized how twisted up his leg had been underneath him. He drew an arm across his face to wipe away the blood and then tried to get up again but was unable to move. He swung himself forward and gasped as his chest struck the ground, jarring his arm. He passed out from the pain so he didn't see the woman headed up the path. She spotted something slumped under a tree and went to check it out. "Oh my god!" she whispered as she realized that it was an injured man. She raced back to the horse she had left at the bottom of the path. 

She rode the horse back to the injured man and quickly got off. She reached into her saddlebag and took out her medical bag. She tended to what wounds she could and then angled the horse so it would be easier to get him onto the horse's back. She brought him back to her house and brought him into the examination room. She tended to his remaining wounds and then settled him into a bed in one of the bedrooms. She cleaned up the examination room and was headed to her office to phone the sheriff. "Hey doc?! You here?!" yelled the sheriff from her waiting room. 

"Hey, Tom, I...." she trailed off as she saw the uniformed officers with Tom Kensington, the town of Serenity's sheriff. "Hey, Doctor Mira Harper, this is Colonel Kelly and some of his people and they're investigating the deaths over at Watson's Glen from when those military folks were testing explosives." 

"Ma'am, a couple of people were killed in the explosion due to sabotage. We were wondering if you saw anything strange or odd happening around Watson's Glen before or after the explosion." 

Her mind was racing wildly, what if the man she'd helped had been involved in the sabotage? Whatever he was he deserved the chance to recover before being thrust into the arms of the law for interrogation. "No, I haven't really had a chance to get out of the office due to a flood of paperwork," she lied. 

"I know what ya mean, doc. Lately it seems as if the only work I do is paperwork. Well, doc, thanks for your help," replied Tom. They said their goodbyes and left the office and she remembered that she had left the horse out back still saddled. Mira realized if they saw the saddle covered in blood there would be trouble. 

Mira hurried out back and unsaddled the horse, turning on the hose as she rinsed the saddle off. She heard a noise and spun to find herself face to face with one of the young Lieutenants who had been in the office. "I'm sorry if I scared you ma'am, it's just that I wanted to...." he trailed off. 

His uniform read Griffin. "What can I do for you, Lieutenant Griffin?" she asked. 

"I don't really know, I guess I was just looking for some answers, ma'am." His eyes met Mira's and she was struck by the terrible grief she could see in them. "I had a friend who was among those listed as killed by the explosion. He was my best friend and I miss him, so you can understand why I would want to catch the guy who is responsible." 

She felt the young man's pain and hoped that she was doing the right thing. "I haven't seen anything Lieutenant, but if I come across anything I'll let you know." 

Mira saw his shoulders slump in defeat, as if he had hoped that this woman could tell him something, anything, to make his grief easier to deal with. She watched him walk away as if he carried the weight of the centuries on his shoulders. She felt terrible for lying to the young man but she knew from experience that the young man upstairs would be the perfect target for this young man's rage at the loss of his good friend. Her oath as a doctor forbids her allowing any harm to come to the patients in her care. She cleaned her riding gear and brushed down the horse before putting him away. Mira then returned to her office to finish up her paperwork and then went to check on her patient. He was sleeping, so she went to her own room and got ready for bed. She got into bed and tried to sleep but she couldn't. 

After hours of trying every remedy she knew, Mira was still no closer to sleep then she had been when she started. She thought briefly of some sleeping pills but she hated to take pills and besides she had a patient who might need her during the night. Mira knew any sleeping pills would delay her reaction to her patient's needs and that some delay could mean the difference between life and death for the injured young man. She decided the best thing was just to take a blanket, her book and settle in at the young man's bedside. Mira strode into the room and noticed that the covers were bunched up around him so she tossed her blanket and book on the chair and went over to straighten the blankets. Mira then sat in the big black chair and tucked the small blanket around her before looking at the cover of her latest book. Gravelight, _nice title to be reading tonight,_ she chided herself. 

She jerked awake suddenly as she sat up in the chair blinking away the sleepiness. Mira realized that she had fallen asleep in the chair next to her patient's bed. She checked on him and realized that he had started a fever sometime during the night. She went to the medicine cabinet and took out some antibiotics to inject into him in hopes that it would fight the fever. 

Just as she finished injecting the patient, she heard a noise downstairs and went to check on it. Mira took her rifle with her just in case of trouble and it was a good thing she did. She found two men trashing her office. "Who the hell are you?" she asked as she leveled her rifle at them. 

"Easy lady," one of the men said and then grinned nastily at her. He made a lunge for the rifle and she struck him across the jaw with it as hard as she could as she put a foot into the stomach of the other guy who'd come to help his friend. 

"Get over there before I blow a semi size hole in you!" Mira ordered as she motioned the man over to his friend. He obeyed and went to stand over by his friend as she picked up the phone to call the sheriff. He lunged for her again and the rifle went off hitting him in the shoulder. As she scrambled for the rifle, the two men ran from the house. Mira retrieved her rifle and raced after them intent on payback for her office. She reached her porch just as the car was pulling away. Mira raised her rifle and felt a certain satisfaction when the shot she fired blew out the car's back window. She then raced back to her office to call the sheriff and report the break-in. After the deputy had taken her statement she saw him out and then returned to her patient. 

He was racked with fever and Mira started an I.V. to keep him hydrated as it fed him massive doses of antibiotics. She spent days bathing him with a damp cloth in an attempt to cool him down. After about a week she awoke to find his fever had broken and he was sleeping naturally. The morning of the eighth day he regained consciousness while she was downstairs in the kitchen. Even though he was weak he was determined to get out of bed. He managed to get up but fell before he could take a step. He let out a gasp as he hit the floor, jarring his body painfully. She raced up the stairs and into the room to find him lying face down on the floor trying to get up. Mira helped him back into bed despite his protests that he was okay and could do it himself. 

"I'm sure you can, but humor me, okay?" Mira asked. He relented and allowed her to settle him and then check him over to see if he'd done any more damage to himself. She held up two fingers in front of him. "How many fingers do you see?" she asked. 

"Ummm....two I guess," he answered. 

"Okay, smart boy, now for the really hard questions. What is the president's name?" she asked. 

"William Clinton," he answered readily. 

"What date is it?'" she asked. 

"Ummm...." he seemed to be having trouble with the answer. 

"It's June 27, 1998. You've been out due to injury and fever for about a week," she answered. "Okay, now for the grand prize winner what's your name?" Mira asked. She could see his struggle for the answer was even harder then that he had for the date. He didn't seem to be able to remember what his name was and his face began to show concern and panic. 

"It's okay, don't try so hard," Mira said soothingly. "You had a pretty good conk on the head and it probably resulted in temporary amnesia." 

"What if it isn't temporary?" he asked and she winced at the fear in his voice. 

"The majority of the cases are temporary and I see no reason to think your case would be any different. The only time it's permanent is when a section of the brain is damaged and you don't have any brain damage that I can find. Or, if you don't want to remember and are subconsciously making yourself forget." She searched his face to see if the latter might be true. Had this young man done something so horrible that he didn't and couldn't let himself remember? He seemed as if he really wanted to remember. 

"What's say we call you John until you start to remember." He looked up at her, concerned. 

"When will that be?" he asked. 

"I can't really say because with each patient it's different. Sometimes it's a few hours, and sometimes it can be as long as a few days to a few months. I can make an inquiry about you and see if you match any missing persons fliers. Surely, someone has missed you by now and filed a report." He seemed comforted by the fact that Mira was willing to do everything to find out who he was and where he belonged. She excused herself and went downstairs to her office; she sat at her desk before reaching for the phone. She hesitated about picking up the receiver but finally she gathered her strength and dialed the number she swore she'd never dial again. 

"Federal Operator 3567," answered a women's voice at the other end. 

"I'd like to speak to Mr. Gray please." The strain was evident in Mira's voice. 

"Who may I say is calling?" asked the operator. 

"Tell him it's his niece, Mira," she answered. Actually, Mira wasn't his niece but the operator didn't need to know that. Mira had had many uncles over the years who had been friends of her father's since they had first entered the agency. She had called them uncle and it only seemed right for them to look out for their niece when she'd entered the agency. 

"Mira?" said a masculine voice on the other end. She winced at the joyful sound of his voice. 

"Hi, Uncle Mike, I need your help," there was silence for a moment. 

"Are you okay little one?" he asked. 

"Sure, I'm fine, but I've got a friend who has some difficulty remembering." 

"I'll see what I can do," he answered. Mira gave him the description of her patient so he'd know what to look for. "Okay Mira, I'll run him against current missing persons Federally and let you know what I find out. Listen hon, why don't you call your dad, he's worried about you," he said. 

"I wrote them just last week," Mira answered. 

"That was two months ago, young lady," he chided. "Besides, I think your mom would like to hear your voice at least once a year," he admonished. 

"Okay, okay, I surrender, I'll call them right after I finish with you. Happy?" 

"Blissed out beyond belief." he answered with a small chuckle. "Listen honey, take care of yourself." 

"Yes, mom," she laughed in response before hanging up. She called her parents and spoke with her father briefly before her mother insisted on the phone. Mira and her mother talked for hours, or rather her mother talked for hours. It almost seemed as if she were reluctant to hang up and let her daughter get away. 

* * *

A month had passed since John and she had met, his leg had healed and his arm was almost healed. No one had seemed to care enough about him to report his disappearance and so Mira figured that probably meant that he was alone in the world. He seem to be recovering nicely, but his memory loss still plagued him as if his mind refused to remember the world he'd lived in. One that didn't have even one person who would miss him. He'd taken to using the name John Harper. At first Mira had been unsure because she had originally named him John as in John Doe, not because of her husband John. She had shared with him the story about how John had died, making sure that a few choice parts had been left out. Like the fact that John had been working for the agency when he died. 

They were sitting on the porch on a warm July evening for the breeze when he brought her husband up again. "How did you two meet?" he asked. 

Mira seemed puzzled for a moment before she realized he was talking about her husband. "At a party," she answered. When she didn't say anything further he pressed her for more. 

"That's all your going to tell me? Come on, let me live vicariously through your life since at the moment I don't have one of my own." 

Mira laughed. "Okay, you broke down my defenses. It was a Christmas Eve party my mom holds every year. I have an uncle and two cousins in the marines, and one year one of them brought John home. My cousin had jokingly asked my mom if I'd be there because his present for me was too big to fit under the Christmas tree. He'd said that it wasn't easy wrapping a marine, you know, having to worry about the air holes and such." They laughed. 

"Yeah, well, a dead marine wouldn't have done you any good," he answered. 

At the look of pain on her face he started to apologize but she ignored him and went on as if she'd never heard him. "I hate parties because I'm pretty much the solitary kind. I was extremely shy as a kid and it's difficult for me with new people. Besides, I was always the logical one, you know. I never could understand why the girls drooled over the football team and such. I mean cute guys were a dime a dozen, so there was no reason to lose your mind over one. I hovered near the refreshment table because I figured that way people would avoid me and if they didn't I could always stuff something in my mouth to keep from making a fool of myself." She saw him smile at the image of a young Mira hiding in a corner with food stuffed in her mouth. 

"You probably would have looked so adorable you would've attracted others." 

Mira swatted at him playfully. "Very funny," she answered sarcastically. "Anyway, I hadn't seen John yet so he came as a big surprise. This deep rumbling voice said right in my ear, 'Excuse me, Miss.' I jumped a mile because ever since I was a kid the hair on the back of my neck would rise if anyone came within in ten yards of my back. Even my mother would cause the hair to rise, so when this guy was able to get right behind me and say hello it really surprised me. I turned to see who had been able to get so close and fell into the bluest eyes I've ever seen. I was seventeen and I suddenly understood why all those girls gushed over the movie stars and such. I was lost from the moment I entered the same room as him. I can't really explain what I felt because it was indescribable, but there was this warmth that seemed to just spread through me. 

"I spent the rest of the evening with him and I talked more than I had probably talked in my life. The whole time I was worried that he was just humoring his friend's cousin, but he really liked listening and talking with me. When the evening was over I had to walk my cousin and him out to the car. He asked me out on our first official date and after that everything was a blur. We were perfect for each other, it seemed almost as if we could think each other's thoughts before the other thought them. We communicated without a word because a look or a touch was enough. Of course my dad hated him because no guy was good enough for his little angel and he thought that I was inexperienced and getting too serious for a girl of seventeen. I knew though, I just knew that John Harper and I had a future together, I just didn't know it was so short a future." 

He placed a hand on the back of her neck and stroked her hair. "I have a feeling that he's very proud of you. I also feel that he'd want you to move on with your life and live it to the fullest. He's waiting for you, but he's willing to wait until you've had the experience you need." 

Mira smiled at him. "I wonder if you were a priest in that other life." 

"I certainly hope not," he answered. 

"Why not?" she asked puzzled. 

"Because then I couldn't do this." He leaned over and as his lips brushed hers, Mira felt a warm wave of emotions wash over her. He began to kiss her neck, "John," she murmured quietly. Suddenly the July evening seemed to be getting hotter and Mira regained some of her senses only through a massive struggle. "John, the neighbors will see us," she protested. 

"What neighbors? You're the only one for miles." 

"Oh, right," she mumbled. 

John trailed kisses down her neck as he fumbled with the buttons of her blouse, finally just tearing the blouse open, and began to ravenously kiss down the front of her. She arched to meet his kisses and moaned as her hands played with his hair. "Enough of this!" he said, he lifted Mira and carried her into the house, lightly tossing her onto her bed. John rapidly stripped her, divesting her of any clothing that might get in his way. A slight sigh escaped her as her arms reached out to him and she struggled to not attack him in kind. His hands were around her waist as he lifted her up and Mira involuntarily wrapped her arms around his neck. She felt John's heart pounding as he cradled her against his chest. His lips met hers with the same longing that she felt. Mira felt John's powerful, yet gentle, hands moving over her body. She closed her eyes and surrendered to his caresses. 

* * *

Mira awoke the next morning and felt John's warm body cuddled next to her. As she watched him sleep, she realized the full enormity of what she'd done. As she lay in the crook of his arm, his body pressed warmly against her she began to cry. The folly of what she'd done, she couldn't begin to put into words. At the very least she could lose her medical license for getting romantically involved with a patient. At worst, this man could be a killer and she'd let her emotions tangle her up in his life. 

John stirred and moaned as he plucked at the blanket covering him. He let out a terrified sob and it cut straight through her. Mira wrapped her arms around his neck. "Don't cry honey, its alright," she murmured. He clung to her in his sleep, shivering violently and she tightened her hold on him as she rubbed his back comfortingly. 

"Bobby! No!" he cried out in his sleep. 

"It's alright, I'm here." She stroked his face as she tried to get him to calm down. Then she got an idea. "What's your name?" she asked him quietly. 

"Andrew...." he murmured. "Andrew, what's your last name?" she asked. 

"No!" he suddenly cried out and sat up panting in terror. For a moment he looked around as if the devil himself were after him. Then he spotted Mira next to him in bed and crushed her to him. 

"It's okay, Andrew," she said soothingly, he put her away from her and looked at her slightly puzzled. 

"What did you call me?" he asked. 

"Andrew. I asked you your name while you were having a nightmare, and you told me Andrew. I couldn't get your last name though because you woke before you answered me." 

He gripped her tightly and she gasped in pain. "Tell me more!" he demanded. 

"I don't know anymore other than you called out for someone named Bobby." She was beginning to get scared. 

He saw her look of fear and released her with a mumbled apology. "I'm sorry it's just that...." he trailed off. Mira moved closer to him and rested her chin on his shoulder. "It's okay, Andrew. This is good, because we're beginning to get information, which means your mind's finally able to begin facing whatever caused your memory loss. It means you'll remember who you are sooner or later." Mira felt a wave of sadness hit her because she knew that once he regained his memory he might just leave and forget all about her. "Hey, what say we go to town for breakfast?" she asked with a false happiness in her tone. Mira hoped that with his first trip into town and being around other people then he might just be able to jog his memory more and help him remember his past. 

It would be better if he remembered sooner because then if he left she would know and not have to live wondering about what he'd do. "Well, only because you insisted," he quipped. 

"What's that supposed to mean? You think I'm a rotten cook?" Mira asked teasingly. 

"Let's just say your no Julia Child, okay." She scrunched her face up at him in defiance and then suddenly grabbed her pillow and belted him with it. "Oh, so that's how you want to play it!" He jumped at Mira and she squealed with excitement. They spent a couple of minutes pillow fighting before Andrew stopped. 

Mira stopped and looked at him puzzled. "What, are your remembering something?" she asked concerned. 

"Yes, I'm remembering how truly lovely you are." He smiled at her as she sat there puzzled with her face flushed and her chestnut hair strewn about her. 

"I think.... I think we'd better get dressed," she answered. "I'm heading for the shower." Mira tossed her pillow back onto the bed and started to get up. 

"Could you use someone to scrub your back?" 

"No, because if you get in there with me I'll never get dressed," she answered in a playful tone. 

He grinned mischievously at her as he watched her head towards the bathroom. Andrew admired the view until she closed the door behind her and then he got up and went over to the full-length mirror. He studied himself, "Andrew" he murmured, testing the name out but still he didn't feel anything familiar about it. He tried to recall the dream but only got parts of it in which he and another man had helped two injured men while someone shot at them. He wondered why someone would want to shoot at him. 

"Bobby?" he said as he tried to bring into focus the face that the name evoked, but all he could see was close-cropped brown hair. Where the face was supposed to be was a black void with no distinguishing features. He got angry and threw his pillow at the mirror knocking it over. When it crashed to the floor, Mira came out of the bathroom with a worried expression. "I'm sorry," he said. 

"Andrew, don't try so hard. You're pushing your mind and it's retaliating by refusing to remember. Just let the memories come, don't force them or you'll push them down so far they'll never return." 

Andrew sighed. "You're right, it's just that it's so frustrating not being able to know who you are," he said angrily. 

"You are Andrew! For the moment Andrew Harper, but you are Andrew. Your mother named you Andrew and your buddies probably called you Andy." 

He smiled. "Somehow Andy feels less familiar then Andrew." 

"Then maybe they called you by a nickname more often than by your name, but sooner or later I have complete faith that it'll creep up in at the very least your dreams. You'll remember and I've got the perfect item to help." She strode over to the cabinet and sorted through it for a few minutes before pulling out a cassette recorder. "We'll put it by the bed and tape you in your sleep so if you say anything in your sleep that might be a clue we'll know." 

He hugged her tightly. "Your a genius, doc!" he answered excitedly. 

"Yeah, a genius that still needs to shower. Now why don't you go get ready?" They dressed quickly and headed for town. "Andrew when we get to town I'm going to introduce you as my brother-in-law because the people here already know that I'm a widow." 

"I think that maybe we'd better cool it while in town. At least, I'm asking you to try and behave." Mira said. 

"Why do you think I have to behave?" he asked as he began to playfully blow into her ear and then nibbled on her neck. 

"Andrew!" she squealed. "You're going to make us crash!" she admonished. 

"Then pull over and we'll climb into the back." 

"Andrew, behave!" she swatted at him, Andrew slumped in the passenger seat looking totally dejected. 

"You hate me," he said. 

"No, I don't hate you." 

"You women are all the same! Once you get a guy into bed and have your way with him he's no longer a challenge and you just toss him out with the rest of the garbage," he said as a mischievous glint appeared in his eyes. 

"Oh, right! I've gone through guys like you twenty at a time." 

"See, you admit it!" 

"Admit what?" 

"Admit that you only want me for my body!" 

"Hey, don't I get points for at least being honest about it? I mean did I ever lead you on?" 

"No, you didn't make any promises," Andrew answered. "But what about my mind, heart and soul? You do know there is more to me then my body don't you?" 

"I can only handle one thing at a time!" Mira answered exasperated. "Let me finish with the body, and then I'll handle the rest." They came into town she pulled into a spot in front of the general store. Getting out of the car she found herself face to face with Tom Kensington and his deputy, Myles Drake. 

"Hi ya doc, got a visitor do we?" he asked as he assessed Andrew with the practiced eye of a law enforcement veteran. 

"Yes, Tom, this is my brother-in-law, Andrew Harper. He's here for a short visit." 

"It's a pleasure to meet you. The name's Tom Kensington, and this here is my Deputy Myles Drake." He offered a hand to Andrew. 

Andrew shook the offered hand. "It's a pleasure, Sheriff. My sister-in-law has been telling me about how kind the town's been to her." 

"Well, with her being the only doc for miles and none of the new doc's fresh from school wanting to be stuck with a town like Serenity, I guess we need to be nice to keep such a good doctor. God only knows what those boys up at the County seat will come up with if we run this one off," he answered good-naturedly. Mira was paying such close attention to how Andrew was doing with the sheriff and his deputy she didn't notice the two men who had ransacked her office. 

One of them noticed Andrew and nudged his buddy urgently trying to get his attention. He turned, looking cross at his friend before he spotted what the other guy was pointing to. "That's that marine who tried to stop us!" he hissed to his friend. "I wonder why he hasn't turned us in yet." 

"He's probably doing that right now you idiot!" his friend said angrily as he tried to keep his voice low so they wouldn't be heard. They noticed that Mira stayed and talked with the sheriff as Andrew headed towards them, they were puzzled as he passed right by them without a flicker of recognition. "He didn't recognize us?!" hissed the thug. "He was caught in the explosion, maybe he hit his head and doesn't remember us?" the first thug asked. 

"Matt don't be an idiot! That only happens in soap operas!" his friend hissed at him. 

"Well then, you explain why he didn't seem to know the two guys who tried to kill him!?" Matt hissed back. 

"Let's see if he really doesn't remember us," answered Kyle. Matt followed Kyle as he headed over to Andrew. Andrew strolled along in the general store picking up the supplies they needed. He was a little confused by the fact that every time he turned around he bumped into one of two men. Andrew would apologize and continue on with his shopping until the next time one of them accidentally bumped into him. When he had everything ready to go he went to the door to see if Mira wanted to add anything. Andrew saw Mira talking to a young man in military fatigues and from behind, all he could see was close cropped brown hair but something about his stance was extremely familiar. Mira looked sad and a bit nervous as she spoke to the solider. 

The young solider turned towards Andrew and he got a good look at his face. Suddenly Andrew was struck by a panic attack for want of a better word. He gasped as he found himself suddenly unable to breathe. The storekeeper frowned. "You alright, son?" the old man asked. Andrew couldn't understand why he felt the urgent need to do something....Anything. The storekeeper helped him into a chair and rushed to the door. "Doc! Doc Harper, emergency!" 

Mira grabbed her bag and came running into the store followed closely by the young soldier that she'd been talking to. She quickly checked Andrew over but started when she heard the young Lieutenant behind her. "A.J.?!" he whispered, he roughly pushed Mira aside and kneeled in front of A.J. Griffin's face was drawn and white as he took A.J.'s hand in his as if to prove he was real. 

"You know Andrew?" asked Mira. Bobby stood and whirled to face her with a look of rage. 

"Why didn't you tell me he was alive?!" he snarled. Mira backed up in fear as A.J. sprang to his feet and struck Bobby. 

"You leave her alone!" he said in a quiet but extremely threatening tone. Griffin sat on the floor stunned as he rubbed his sore jaw. 

"A.J., it's me, Bobby!" he said in a shaky voice. A.J. started towards Bobby threateningly but Mira moved forward quickly and gently restrained him. 

"Andrew! Stop! He seems to know you!" Her voice held a quiet plea, but Bobby could hear the desperation and fear in her voice. "You called Andrew A.J., why?!" she asked Bobby as her eyes pleaded with him to answer quickly. 

"His name is Lieutenant Andrew J. Conaway, and he's a Sea Dragon." 

"Colonel William Kelly is our superior and he told us that A.J. had been killed. You're alive though A.J., and I couldn't be happier." Bobby reached for A.J. but he quickly backed away. 

"I don't know you," said A.J. and a look of confused hurt crossed Bobby's face. 

"A.J., it's Bobby....Chaser?!" his voice had taken on a pleading tone as if begging his friend to remember him. 

"Lieutenant Griffin, Andrew's had an accident and can't remember any of his past," Mira jumped in hoping to head off the confrontation. 

"Nothing?!" asked Bobby. 

"Not a thing before a month ago," she answered Bobby before turning to A.J. "Listen, he said your name was Andrew Conaway, and you remembered that your name was Andrew. I don't think that was a coincidence. He's your friend, A.J., and he can fill in the blanks for you." A.J. looked as if he were about to argue with her. 

There was a small part of him that didn't want to remember because he was afraid to leave the comfort Mira represented for a world that had so far only returned in the form of nightmares full of blood and death. "Tell him something!" hissed Mira. 

"You're Lieutenant Andrew .J. Conaway, of the United States Marine Corps. You're part of a special squad known as the Sea Dragons, under the command of Colonel William Kelly. Lindstrom, McCray, you and I are the team. You're from Texas...." Bobby trailed off as his mind suddenly went blank. 

* * *

"Maybe we should go to where the Sea Dragons are posted? Being in a familiar place can only help jog your memory some not to mention allowing you access to your personnel records," said Mira. A.J. let out a breath he hadn't realized that he'd been holding. 

Mira was right, if he was A.J. Conaway, it would clear up a lot of questions he had. "All right, we'll go with you," replied A.J. 

"We?" asked a puzzled Bobby. 

"I go nowhere without Mira." A.J. took Mira's hand in his and kissed it gently. Bobby and Mira exchanged a glance, but then Bobby agreed to the condition. 

"Did you hear that?! He's forgotten who he is, so let's get out of here," hissed Matt. 

"Not by a long shot. I have no intention of letting Lieutenant Andrew Conaway remember us," answered Kyle. 

"What are you planning?" 

"Not here, it's too public, but once they're on the road it's nothing but empty highway. Easy for someone to have a terrible accident." A malicious grin spread across his face. "Besides, I've got a thing or two to teach that lady doctor." 

* * *

Mira had been driving for hours and glancing over at A.J., who hadn't said a word since they started out. Bobby Griffin sat in the back seat stealing glances at A.J. himself. Mira could feel the tension between the two men and it was slowly driving her crazy. The stress between the two men who were supposedly best friends was almost palpable. Suddenly, something struck the back of the car and Mira felt herself thrown forward. She was only kept from serious injury by her seat belt. She looked in the rear view mirror as something again struck the car. "Fellas, we've got company." 

Both men looked behind them at the car that seemed intent on driving them off the road. "I saw those guys back at the general store!" exclaimed A.J. 

"Well, I shot one about a month ago when they trashed my office. The one driving got shot in the shoulder before he got away," replied Mira. 

"What are you lady?" asked Griffin. 

"Lieutenant, what makes you think that they're after me and not your friend?" she asked. Bobby sat back, unsure about how to answer that question. "Hang on Lieutenant, it's going to be a bumpy ride." Mira used every skill she remembered from her driving courses. Whoever the other driver was he was very good at defensive driving but there were a few tricks Mira was sure that she knew and he didn't. The other car drew up alongside Mira's and began to slam into the driver's side. Mira remembered a little trick and suddenly slammed on the brakes as the other car flew past. She struggled to control the car's fishtailing as she knew it would be only a few minutes before the other car returned. She decided to take the high road and turned the car towards the trees. 

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" asked Bobby. 

"My car is an all terrain vehicle, the area around here isn't car friendly. Our friends only have a sedan and if they try to follow they'll only break their axle." A.J. grinned at her and Mira tried to give him her best reassuring smile. She hoped that he believed she knew what she was doing because Mira wasn't all that sure herself. In fact, she was quickly making it up as she went along and prayed silently that it would work. 

They ditched their tail and Mira drove for a few more hours before they decided to stop off at a motel and get a fresh start in the morning. Griffin was anxious to get on with the trip, but he knew they'd need what rest they could get. "Can I help you?" asked the motel clerk. 

"Yes, we'd like three rooms," answered Bobby. 

"Two rooms," A.J. corrected. Bobby glanced over at A.J. who just met his eyes with stubborn determination. A.J. turned back to the clerk. "Two singles will be fine," he said as he wrapped a possessive arm around Mira's waist. 

Bobby sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off his boot before angrily tossing it aside. A.J.'s behavior confused and scared him because all he wanted was his friend back, and it didn't look like that was going to happen. He didn't know if he could trust this Mira Harper, or that letting her near A.J. by any stretch was the smart thing to do but it seemed as if he didn't have a choice in the matter. Griffin yanked off his other boot and tossed it over with the other boot. His eyes settled on the phone by the bed and he reached for it. Bobby's hands hesitated on he receiver, unsure on who to call. McCray and Lindstrom deserved to be told in person. He didn't know how to contact A.J.'s family, so that left only Colonel Kelly. Bobby called him and filled him in on what had happened to date. 

Mira snuggled next to A.J. but she was unable to sleep. A.J. had nodded off immediately, exhausted. A few times during his sleep he had cried out in a nightmare, but with a few soft words from her he calmed and drifted into a deeper sleep. Mira was troubled by the fact that the nightmares weren't just more frequent but more violent. Maybe it was a good sign because it meant that he'd remember everything soon, or it could suppress his memory even further. 

Finally, somewhere in the early morning hours she drifted off into a disturbed sleep. She kept dreaming about Griffin and A.J. as they lay dying. Just as dawn broke she awoke with a jerk as a small current of fear raced through her. Mira reached over for A.J. only to find he was gone, she searched the room before quickly dressing and heading to Griffin's room. 

She banged on the door as a current of panic raced through her. Bobby answered the door wearing only a pair of boxers. His hair was rumpled as he wiped the sleep from his eyes and he looked for all the world like a little boy who'd just woken from a nap. Griffin didn't look like he'd slept any better than she had and she felt a twinge of sympathy for him. "Griffin, have you seen A.J.?" 

Bobby came immediately awake at the small hint of panic in her voice. "He's not with you?" he asked before realizing how stupid the question was. 

"If he were with me why would I be asking if you'd seen him?" she answered sarcastically. Bobby dressed quickly and grabbing his jacket met her at the door. "Let's split up and met back here in an hour," suggested Mira. 

"Don't you think we should call the police first?" asked Bobby. 

"No, A.J. left on his own free will and if the police are called in it might alert the guys who tried to run us off the road yesterday." 

Just then Mira spotted A.J. "Thank god," she whispered and ran over to him. "Where did you go?" the relief was evident in Mira's voice. 

"I needed to think, so I went for a jog to clear my head." A.J. leaned in and kissed Mira tenderly. 

Griffin's throat clearing made them break apart. "Maybe it's time to check out and head back to the base?" Mira smiled at Griffin. He could really be a gentleman when he wanted to be. 

"Down!" Mira suddenly yelled and pushed A.J. into Bobby, knocking them to the ground a split second before a bullet struck her in the shoulder. She spun from the impact of the bullet and landed in an undignified heap on the ground. A.J. scrambled from the cover Mira had shoved him and Bobby into and dragged her back undercover with him. 

As A.J. took off his shirt and pressed it against her shoulder Mira noticed that Bobby had a gun. Griffin was trying to locate the shooter. "He's not up there anymore." Mira said matter-of-factly. 

"And what makes you such an expert?" complained Bobby. 

"The same way I know the wound is just a flesh wound." 

A.J. snorted. "Some flesh wound," he replied sarcastically. 

"It went in the front and out the back without hitting anything vital, in my book that marks it as a flesh wound." 

Police cars pulled up at that moment and demanded their surrender. "It's okay," said Bobby as he tossed his gun out into the open and stood with his hands up so that they could see that they were empty. "I'm Lieutenant Robert Griffin out of Pensacola and I have a wounded woman here," he told the officers who were watching him warily. 

"Let's see some I.D.," ordered one of the cops. Bobby started to reach for his wallet. "Take it real easy, son," said the cop and Bobby complied as he took out his wallet and handed it to the cop. When the cop seemed satisfied he returned Bobby's wallet. "Alright, Lieutenant, where's your wounded person?" he asked. 

Mira got to her feet despite a protesting A.J. "I'm just a little less pudgy is all," she quipped. "Look officer, we need an escort to Pensacola." She saw the look Bobby exchanged with A.J. 

"You guys can't think they were after me? If someone wanted me why would they wait until now? Logically, the explosion that took A.J.'s memory took a specific memory concerning these guys. They want to get rid of A.J. before he remembers that they were behind the sabotage." 

"You're right, A.J. is the only live witness to the sabotage even if he doesn't remember it," answered Bobby. 

"Screw my memory!" hissed A.J. "She's the one whose been shot! Mira's the one that needs the protection, not me!" She grabbed A.J.'s hand and placed it over her heart. "It's still beating A.J., and if I have anything to say about it, it will continue to do so. You're the one in danger, not me, and I have every intention of making sure you're safe even if that means my life!" A.J. started to protest but Mira held up a hand. "Do as your told, young man!" she ordered. It wasn't until later that he realized he'd been in the Marines way too long. He had reacted automatically to her command without question. 

* * *

As they pulled onto the base, A.J. began to get nervous and he was glad that he hadn't had anything to eat this morning because his stomach was doing major flip-flops. Bobby had filled him in on all they'd been through as teammates. Something in A.J. tugged at him as if to tell him that the memories that Bobby was reliving should be something he already knew. 

As A.J. got out of the car he spotted three people, two men and a woman. One of the men had graying hair and the insignia of a Colonel. How he knew it was a Colonel's insignia, he didn't know. Standing next to him was a black man with the rank of Lieutenant looking as if he were unsure about how to approach A.J. The woman was a pretty blonde who had unshed tears in her eyes. With a cry she raced over to him and flung her arms about him. 

She started to sob into his shoulder. "I'm so glad to see you alive! I didn't let myself hope...." she trailed off as she sobbed harder. A.J. patted her on the back unsure what to do with this woman who obviously knew him, but he didn't have any idea who she was. A.J. gently disengaged from Anni and turned to wrap a possessive arm around Mira as he suddenly got uneasy with the affection this woman showed him. Kelly and McCray welcomed him but they were careful not to do anything that would overwhelm him. Bobby made the introductions and then they headed for the infirmary. The others waited in the waiting room while Mira consulted with one of the base's physician's on A.J.'s memory loss. 

"Excellent work, Doctor Harper," said Doctor Michael Abrams as he viewed Conaway's x-rays and Mira's reports on his injuries and recovery. 

"That I have to agree with, it's some of my best work," answered Mira. 

"Does that mean I'll get a certain Lieutenant back soon?" asked Kelly. 

"Colonel, you can have a physically healthy Lieutenant right now. As for a mentally healthy one....that's another story all together. Both Doctor Harper and I agree that Lieutenant Conaway's memory loss is traumatic rather than injury-induced," answered Doctor Abrams. 

"Meaning?" asked Kelly. Abrams looked at Mira and she sighed as she ran a hand through her rumpled hair. 

"It means that A.J. didn't lose his memory due to a knock on the head but rather to something that scared him so much that he couldn't face it, so he suppressed it, and his memory with it." 

"If it were injury-induced we could just wait for the injury to heal; or if it was brain damage with a little therapy we could bypass the section of the brain that was damaged and hopefully retrieve at least some of his memory. Traumatic amnesia means that he may never remember unless he's willing to face what scared him so badly. Colonel, A.J. has to want to face the trauma, but if we push too hard we may cause him to withdraw so deeply into himself that he may not be able to come out even if he wanted to." 

Kelly frowned. "Meaning we're damned if we do and damned if we don't." Lindstrom, McCray and Griffin came into the room. 

"We have to try for A.J.'s sake," said Lindstrom. 

"No!" answered Griffin. "Believing we knew what was best for him is what got him into this in the first place," said Bobby angrily. 

"Why don't we ask A.J.?" McCray asked quietly. 

"I was wondering when one of you would remember that I'm not an inanimate object." They all turned to see A.J. leaning against the doorframe. 

"A.J., I...." Mira began and A.J. shook his head. 

"It's alright Mira I want to try," he answered. Mira stopped Griffin from protesting with a gentle hand on his arm. She saw that A.J. had to do this despite the consequences because it would only be worse, at least for him, if he didn't go through with it. Mira let Doctor Abrams take A.J. with him as she led the others to the waiting room. She had already decided that she'd let Abrams handle this part because she didn't think she could trust herself to be a professional. While in the waiting room Bobby filled the others in on what had happened and then Mira explained how she had found A.J. and why she had lied to them. 

For the next few hours Mira basically paced because she was not used to sitting and waiting, but doing something, anything. Finally, to her great relief, Doctor Abrams came into the waiting area. He filled them in on how A.J. and one of the other young men had come across two men rigging the explosives. They had tried to stop them and the other young man had been killed. Abrams didn't say how the boy had died but from the look in his eyes Mira felt she didn't want to know. The explosives detonator had started its countdown even sooner then the saboteurs had expected. A.J. made a run for cover and had been caught by the wave of the explosion's blast. That's why his injuries had been a lot less severe then they could have been. Abrams commended Mira on her fast thinking and excellent medical skills as he confirmed what she'd already known. 

If Mira hadn't come when she did A.J. wouldn't have stood a chance from the amount of blood loss he'd suffered. He confirmed that while under the drugs, A.J. remembered everything clearly, but that once he had awoken, he still didn't remember anything. A.J.'s conscious mind was still blocking his memory despite the fact that he had relived the death of the young officer that had so traumatized him. The only solace Abrams could offer was to just wait and maybe he might remember one day. Other than the memory loss, A.J. was in perfect condition physically and mentally. Mira was about to ask if she could see him, when Lindstrom beat her to it. Doctor Abrams said that only one person at a time could see him and that they shouldn't stay long because he needed his rest. Lindstrom glanced over at Mira, who just nodded that it was okay that she got to visit him first. 

Lindstrom entered the exam room and A.J. looked up. "Yes, can I help you?" he asked as if she were a total stranger. Anni bit down on her lip to suppress her whimper of pain at the fact that he didn't remember her. 

"I'm Lieutenant Anniliese Lindstrom, one of your teammates on the Sea Dragons?" 

A.J. nodded. "I remember you were there when I came on base." 

She searched his eyes for any sign that he recognized her but there were none. "I just wanted to see how you were doing," she asked with a little stutter. 

"I'm fine. Look, do you know if Mira is out there? I'd really like to see her." 

"Yes, she is. I'll go get her for you." She heard his thanks as she turned and left the room. Once outside the room she leaned up against the wall and gave in to the threatening tears. 

"It'll be alright," said Mira soothingly. "He'll remember sooner or later. I just know that he will and then you'll have your friend back, but be careful because he won't be exactly the same due to the trauma." She handed Lindstrom a tissue. 

"I don't care just as long as we get A.J. back," answered Lindstrom. 

"You really care for him don't you?" asked Mira, and she saw Lindstrom get suddenly tense. 

"A.J. and I were dating before his accident," answered Lindstrom angrily. She was angrier with herself then she was with Mira or A.J. She knew he couldn't help it, but she wondered why she was so crazy about the fact that he didn't remember her. It wasn't like they had been lovers, they had been just dating, and Mira had been his port in a very frightening storm so it was only natural for him to feel safe with her. 

It was important for A.J. to feel safe since the rest of his life was in such upheaval. Lindstrom reached out and turned the knob of the door, opening it for Mira. "He really needs you now." Mira knew how much that had cost the woman standing next to her and felt good to know that A.J. had someone like her to watch over him. She gave Lindstrom a small smile and entered the room where she found A.J. pacing by the window. 

"Mira when do I get out of this place?" he asked anxiously. 

She laughed. "Cool your jets road ranger, and wait for the doctor's all clear. He's working up the papers now and then we'll head over to your quarters for a look around." 

"That's great!" he answered and enthusiastically hugged her before kissing her passionately. 

Mira pushed him away gently. "Hey, take it easy cowboy. Why don't you wait until we've seen your quarters." she stopped suddenly realizing what she'd just said. "I mean...." she trailed off. 

"I know what you mean, and I whole-heartedly agree," answered A.J. The doctor had come through with his release papers in record time and A.J. headed over to his quarters with Mira and Bobby since Doctor Abrams suggested that they keep the group small. He said that since Mira was the one A.J. had attached himself to, and the fact that she had medical training in case of an emergency she was the logical choice. Bobby had gotten to come along by default of being the one who was first to find A.J. Since A.J. was somewhat used to him it would be less upsetting then someone new or another member of the Sea Dragons. 

Mira and Bobby watched as he strolled around his room and investigated objects that were his that he had no memory of. "We....I mean the Colonel got your room ready for you after I filled him in last night from the motel," said Bobby as if to explain why a man supposedly dead for a month still had his room. 

"I look at all this stuff and I know that's me in the photos, but I don't remember any of it." A.J. said, frustrated by the fact that he still didn't remember anything. He just felt that slight tugging he had when Bobby had been telling him about how the team would get together and have a good time. 

Mira tugged gently on Bobby's sleeve and he followed her out into the hallway. "Maybe we should tell him about his dating Lindstrom? It might be enough to shock him back to his old self?" she suggested. She could tell by the look in Bobby's eyes that he'd known about Lindstrom and Conaway dating and was surprised that she did. "Lindstrom told me outside the exam room." 

"Do you think it'll do any good?" Bobby asked, surprised by the fact that he trusted this woman's opinion. 

"I...." she started, but was interrupted by A.J. 

"Hey guys, what's up?" he asked. 

"Nothing." murmured Bobby as he looked nervous at being caught talking about A.J. with Mira. 

"Why don't you spend the night here in your quarters?" suggested Mira, and Bobby gave her a grateful look for the rescue. 

"Okay, you and I...." he began. 

"Mira can't stay here," said Bobby. 

"Why not?" asked A.J. 

"This is a barracks for single officers and no woman are allowed to spend the night unless you want to end up in the brig." 

"I'm sure they'll make an exception in this case," answered A.J. 

"No," said Mira. "You've got to do this without your safety blanket to fall back on." 

"Mira, your more than...." he began and Mira shushed him. 

"You're a big boy and you can do it," replied Mira. She kissed his cheek before turning and walking away. It was the hardest thing she'd ever done, but knew that it was for A.J.'s best and that it had to be done. A.J. stared after her a few minutes in shock before Bobby took his arm and led him back into his room. 

"I know she's right Bobby, but I'm still scared," he admitted to his teammate. 

"We're all scared, A.J., but what we do with that fear is what makes us who we are. Come on and I'll help you with what I can." Bobby and A.J. spent the rest of the afternoon investigating A.J.'s room. 

Mira strolled along the walkway trying to push A.J. from the forefront of her mind. She knew that she had left him in the capable hands of Bobby Griffin who cared for him just as much as she did. Somehow though, her mind refused to accept that fact or was it her heart that refused to accept the fact that she wasn't the only one who cared for A.J.? Mira had been so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't notice Matt and Kyle until she literally bumped into them. "Well, hello doc?" said Kyle snidely. 

"Well, if it isn't the two brain dead thugs. I was wondering when you two jerks would try again," she answered sarcastically as her mind raced. She couldn't seem to find a way to ditch these guys that wouldn't give them a chance at A.J. Kyle pulled out a gun and jabbed it painfully into her ribs. 

"You're coming with us doc," ordered Kyle, and the nudge from the gun he'd placed firmly in her ribs prevented any argument. They dragged Mira along with them as she looked for a way to escape. They took her to a part of the base that looked as if it got little, if any, traffic at all. Her mind realized it would be a good place to kill someone because there wasn't anyone there to witness her murder other then her and the men who committed it. Kyle tied her up in one of the rooms of the building and left Matt in charge of her before heading out after A.J. Mira knew that she had to get free and stop Kyle. The only way to do that was to get rid of her guard, Matt. He looked nervous about being left behind and what his buddy obviously planned to do. He wasn't a killer then, from the looks of it just someone poor guy who'd gotten in over his head. 

Mira worked on her ropes as a magician friend had once taught her. She had remembered how he had told her to tense her body tightly before she was tied so that when she relaxed the ropes would have slack that she could use to escape. After a few minutes of work she was able to free her hands from behind her back. Mira knew that if she tried to untie her legs Matt would see her and try to stop her. Mira thought about something that another friend had done when she'd been bound by the bad guys. "Hey, Matt? Is that your name?" 

"Just shut up and be quiet," he snapped as he seemed to be even more nervous that she knew his name. 

"Will you please help me here? My feet are in pain because your friend tied the ropes too tight." Mira gave him her best innocent look. "Hey, my hands are tied, what can it hurt to just loosen my legs so the blood can flow?" 

Matt came over and she lifted her legs out as if to make it easier to loosen the ropes. Before he could touch the ropes though Mira pulled her legs back and kicked out with all her strength. Matt went flying backwards and landed in a stunned heap as she quickly leaned down and untied her legs. As she headed for the door, Matt grabbed a leg and tripped her. She went face down on the ground stunned but she shook off the effects as she twisted in his arms. Mira laid a well-placed kick into his face and yanked her foot free from his grasp. She reached behind her for a weapon and struck Matt on the head knocking him unconscious. It was only afterwards that she realized it the weapon was a frying pan. "And A.J. said I didn't know how to cook," she quipped. She headed out of the building and headed back towards A.J.'s quarters. 

Mira spotted A.J. crossing the quad in front of the main building and called to him. Kyle had just spotted Conaway when he heard Mira call A.J.'s name and swore vehemently about Matt's abilities. He revved the car and aimed directly at Conaway with the intent of running him over. Mira screamed a warning but A.J. wasn't able to move out of the way in time. Instead of striking him though, the car only managed to clip him and he spun before hitting the ground and striking his head hard on the pavement. The MP's fired at the car as it raced down the road, heading straight for Mira. She pulled out the gun she had retrieved from Matt before leaving him tied up for the MP's. She calmly and coolly leveled the gun at the windshield and gently squeezed off a shot. The bullet struck Kyle in the shoulder and as he jerked from the impact, he crashed the car. 

Mira didn't watch the MP's as they arrested Kyle, instead she rushed over to A.J. who was just beginning to regain consciousness. "Are you okay?" she asked him worriedly. 

"I'm fine," he answered. He looked up as the others arrived and Mira could see the confused look on his face. 

"Bobby? What's going on? The last thing I remember was that we were about to test some explosives at Watson's Glen. How did I get back on base?" he asked. 

"What's the date?" Mira asked him. 

"Today 's June 27, 1998, why?" She felt her heart constrict in fear. 

"It's July 30, 1998, Lieutenant," she answered in her best professional tone. Mira ignored Bobby's sympathetic look and helped A.J. to his feet. 

"That's over a month, I don't remember any of it," said A.J. and he looked worried. 

"Don't be worried Lieutenant, it's just a nasty bump on the head, your memory will return." 

"How can you be so sure?" he asked. 

"I'm a doctor and it's my job to be sure," she answered. "We better get him to the infirmary and have him checked over." 

Doctor Abrams and Mira checked A.J. over and discovered that he remembered everything up until the morning of June 27th. Doctor Abrams assured Kelly and the others that this was a good thing and that Mira was probably right that he'd remember the last month sooner or later. 

Mira had stayed to finish up with A.J. "Hey doc are you married?" A.J. asked Mira. 

"No, actually I'm not," she answered him and gave him a puzzled glance at the grin that was spread across his face. 

"Are you free for dinner?" Conaway flirted with her. 

"I don't think that would be such a good idea, Lieutenant." 

"Why not?" he asked her. 

"Because I'm involved with someone at the moment, and he's an extremely jealous type." Mira had already made up her mind about what to tell A.J. about the last month. Abrams had been asked to tell Kelly and his team not to mention to A.J. about the month that he'd spent with her other than what they had too. She didn't want him feeling obligated to try and recapture a romance with a woman he obviously didn't remember. 

Conaway had been given a clean bill of health and released, and Mira watched as his friends greeted him. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to look into the deep blue eyes of Lieutenant Robert Griffin. "Listen, Lieutenant Griffin...." she began. 

"Bobby, after all you've earned it. You really love him don't you?" he asked as if too stunned to believe that she did. 

"Yes, I do, that's why I'm letting him go." 

"If you just explain...." 

She placed her fingers on his mouth silencing him. "No....Bobby, I can't do that to him. My mother said once that a man has two jobs. The one that he's good at and the one that he enjoys and if the two jobs are the same job then he's blessed. A.J.'s blessed and I'd hate myself for my selfishness if I tried to take away his happiness. He belongs here with his family, the Sea Dragons. God may have conspired to keep you from being family through blood or law, but you are family where it counts. You're a family of the heart, mind and soul and I want you to promise me you're going to take care of each other." Griffin nodded solemnly unable to believe that he had judged this woman so wrong. "Take care of yourself too, Lieutenant Robert Griffin, or I'll be back, and you wouldn't want that." Mira hugged him quickly and rushed away before her threatening tears coursed down her face. 

Bobby stuck a hand in his pocket and felt something, he pulled out a couple of envelopes that he knew hadn't been there before. There were five in all, one was marked with Colonel Kelly's name and the other four had a Sea Dragons name on each one. He opened the one marked with his name and found that it was a goodbye note from Mira. She spoke of him in glowing terms and how she was positive she could trust A.J.'s safety to him. The brief note made him feel extremely well loved and he cleared his throat as he realized he was getting maudlin. He stuffed his note back in his pocket and went over to the others. He intended to let Conaway know, when he was ready, about this incredible woman that he'd let slip away. 

THE END 

© 2000   
Please send comments to the author! 

<01/19/2000 

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